It is already 2007! It is a new year, so our class is choosing goals for writing. As a student in that class, I have chosen my own goals that I will, or hope, to accomplish this year.
My very first goal I chose is to improve in “Drafting and Revising.” I hardly check carefully after writing my first draft (I use up all my energy and become lazy). Because of this, even though my contents are marvelous, it is not organized and seems messy. My method to this goal is to brainstorm first and write an outline.
Word choice is another category I am critically weak in. In my writings, all of my vocabularies are extremely boring. Powerful vocabularies will strengthen my sentences, and I hope I can use more vocabularies in a wider area. Since I have learned many words, I will use the dictionary and the thesaurus to provide a better paper than last year’s. This is the method I am planning to use.
It is all in my head, but I cannot use them. This is another major problem I am having when I have to write a paper. I am trying to use a variety of techniques to support my sentences, and this is my one of my goals. My method to this goal is to find “strong” examples, such as finding a real person who can be the perfect example and has the perfect one instead of saying “suppose this person really existed…” or giving such lame support.
Highlighting each sentences with a highlighter showed me my sentences’ lengths. They are not choppy, but do not vary in lengths either. My goal is to use different types of sentence structures and lengths. My great ideas are ruined by same sentence lengths, and I think I can solve this problem by using suggested types of sentences in the packet (complex and compound-complex sentences, etc).
“Effect” and “affect” always twists my brain and my essays. I am confused with some vocabularies that sound very identical to each other, such as eminent and imminent. I do not want to be laughed at because I used the wrong vocabulary, so I decided “Confused Terms” as another goal. I will look up in the dictionary whenever I am confused between the words I use. This way, I can learn vocabularies and write properly at the same time.
I try to be very descriptive, but I end up using adverbs that does not match with the sentence or using very plain adverbs. I will try to use and learn more adverbs that I can use to make my sentences powerful. Dictionaries are always there, or I can ask my classmates or the teacher if the adverb matches or not.
Internet may have the most sources, but not the most accurate ones. For research projects, I will try to use more than electronic sources. Newspapers and magazines are always available, and I can use them to amuse the person who reads my research paper. My method for this category is to gather newspapers and magazines about a topic when it is given.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Poetry Portfolio
Yaejin Park
Second Stage
Ms. Johnson
12 /11/06
Note from Author
I tried my best-or at least I think so-in these poems. I do my best works mostly in home; it seems like I cannot concentrate in the school due to all the distractions I get and cause (I cause more distractions more than I get). As you read on, you will see that most of my poems are related to school. That is because I am most influenced by school-maybe this is because I am a student-and grades.
What I value the most in the writing process is how much I have tried and tried to change major and minor mistakes. By major mistakes, I mean choosing “right” vocabularies and sentence fluency (Concrete poem is an exception). These do not have an essential role in some poems, but I try my best if I have to have nice word choices and smoothly flowing sentences.
Until now, I have learned and improved in word choice and ideas. I used to put in ordinary words, which made all my writing boring. I learned what kind of vocabularies can be used instead of common words that make a sentence vague. Although I cannot use “fancy” vocabularies all the time, I try to avoid boring words. I did improve in the idea category, but not as much as I did in word choice. When I wrote, I could not focus on the topic I have chosen –although I am still like this. I got out of the topic during the process of list poem. These improvements changed my writing into better writing, but I think I can still improve. Through these poems, I have improved in these two categories a little bit more.
To My family and friends
Table of Contents
Fail (Concrete Poem) ………………………………………………………………………Page 1
Poetry Allergy (List Poem) ……………………………………………………………….Page 2
Departure (Two Rooms) …………………………………………………………………..Page 3
Lunch Time (Sound Poem) ………………………………………………………………..Page 4
What a Helpful Machine (Villanelle) ……………………………………………………Page 5
Concrete Poem
Careless Students
Fail
Fear of punishment Fear of punishment Fear of punishment
Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic
Intercept report card Intercept report card Intercept report card
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Silent dinner table Quiet dinner table Silent dinner table
Quiet dinner table Silent dinner table Quiet dinner table
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
Slap myself
Slap myself
Slap myself
Punch wall
Punch wall
Punch wall
Pull my hair
Pull my hair
Pull my hair
List Poem
Poetry Haters
Poetry Allergy
- First of all, I am a lousy writer.
- I can’t find the fantastic, marvelous words for each stanza.
- I can’t understand the poetry I wrote by myself.
- I used to memorize it and I was FORCED to.
- I have to read it with expression.
- I have to decorate the final draft of poetry sometimes.
- I am sometimes asked to interpret the poem and even its punctuation!
- I just hate it
- I can’t choose one topic; there are too many of them!
- My poems are sleeping pills for the audience.
- That is why I hate showing it to people, including my friends.
- Somehow it seems too beautiful for me to write.
Two Rooms
People with Siblings
Departure
I live in a doorway
Between two rooms
I see the sun peering over the buildings, bright as usual.
But why do I feel so gloomy?
The bed next to mine is empty
And the house seems roomy
My sister is on her way to another continent, the furthest one from where I am.
I hear my sibling’s exhausted but happy voice.
She says I will fly over the oceans
To spend a week with her this winter
Suddenly I see the fantasy of stepping on the foreign land
And finding my one and only sister, waiting for me in the airport
Self Assessment (Two Rooms)
“Departure”
Some lines are too long. I have to try to shorten some sentences so it sounds more like a line in a poem, not a statement. The audience is not included, and that is the one of the most important factors that needs to be included in the poem. The audience can be people with sibling, or people who have arguments often with their siblings. The adjective words can be changed a bit.
Sound Poem
Children
Lunch Time
Ding~dong~dang~dong~
Goes the lunch bell at a school
You hear the thump, thump, thump of children running to the cafeteria
Rrrrumble…rrrowl…
The stomachs are growling for the search of food
The clink, clank, clunk
Of forks and knives form a band
Squeeak…Squeee sqeeeeee~k
Groaned the chairs as they were dragged away from the table
And the plates join in the chorus with a crash!
As the students shove each other to the door
With another thump, thump, thump
This time accompanied with the yell, “The soccer ball is mine!”
Self Assessment (Sound Poem)
“Lunch Time”
I had to change some words because they were repeating too much. Repeating about two to three times is just enough, so I changed some of the words in each line. Since this poem had no or almost no sentences, I could not do anything with sentence fluency. The words are boring. I did okay in putting in my own experience in some lines, such as “Punch wall” and “Pull my hair.” There are not very many feelings shown in the poem. Otherwise, the poem is okay.
Villanelle
Computer makers
What a Helpful Machine
In front of my desk and chair I sway
I would have done all the work if the computer had not stopped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today.
I wait and frown expecting it to come out of delay.
In frustration I screamed and hopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway
On the bed, angry, I lay.
No actually, on the bed I flopped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today
Almost bawling, I pray.
I know I should have chosen another computer when I shopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway.
For an hour there is no change…“Yay!”
Because of my anger, my brain almost popped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today.
It is like this everyday.
Back on the chair I lopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway
No one can fix the dumb machine today
Self Assessment (Villanelle)
“What a Helpful Machine”
I have written a villanelle about having a computer frozen. My first draft was a mess because the use of vocabularies was not correct. I had crammed in the vocabularies, thinking that I should find rhyming words first and then think about grammar later, and that made it hard for me to fix. So I had to change many vocabularies at the end to find words I can use (and words that also rhyme). Some sentences look a bit awkward. For example, the third stanza, line 7, “On the bed, angry, I lay,” it does not seem right to me. It sounds as if the bed is angry, not me. I fixed other major mistakes, but it seems like I have to check and see if the sentences make sense or not. If not, I will have to fix it and in the worst case, I have to change every single vocabulary at each end of the lines. I need to look at some of the word choices also.
Second Stage
Ms. Johnson
12 /11/06
Note from Author
I tried my best-or at least I think so-in these poems. I do my best works mostly in home; it seems like I cannot concentrate in the school due to all the distractions I get and cause (I cause more distractions more than I get). As you read on, you will see that most of my poems are related to school. That is because I am most influenced by school-maybe this is because I am a student-and grades.
What I value the most in the writing process is how much I have tried and tried to change major and minor mistakes. By major mistakes, I mean choosing “right” vocabularies and sentence fluency (Concrete poem is an exception). These do not have an essential role in some poems, but I try my best if I have to have nice word choices and smoothly flowing sentences.
Until now, I have learned and improved in word choice and ideas. I used to put in ordinary words, which made all my writing boring. I learned what kind of vocabularies can be used instead of common words that make a sentence vague. Although I cannot use “fancy” vocabularies all the time, I try to avoid boring words. I did improve in the idea category, but not as much as I did in word choice. When I wrote, I could not focus on the topic I have chosen –although I am still like this. I got out of the topic during the process of list poem. These improvements changed my writing into better writing, but I think I can still improve. Through these poems, I have improved in these two categories a little bit more.
To My family and friends
Table of Contents
Fail (Concrete Poem) ………………………………………………………………………Page 1
Poetry Allergy (List Poem) ……………………………………………………………….Page 2
Departure (Two Rooms) …………………………………………………………………..Page 3
Lunch Time (Sound Poem) ………………………………………………………………..Page 4
What a Helpful Machine (Villanelle) ……………………………………………………Page 5
Concrete Poem
Careless Students
Fail
Fear of punishment Fear of punishment Fear of punishment
Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic Panic
Intercept report card Intercept report card Intercept report card
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Sixty Sixty
Silent dinner table Quiet dinner table Silent dinner table
Quiet dinner table Silent dinner table Quiet dinner table
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
Slap myself
Slap myself
Slap myself
Punch wall
Punch wall
Punch wall
Pull my hair
Pull my hair
Pull my hair
List Poem
Poetry Haters
Poetry Allergy
- First of all, I am a lousy writer.
- I can’t find the fantastic, marvelous words for each stanza.
- I can’t understand the poetry I wrote by myself.
- I used to memorize it and I was FORCED to.
- I have to read it with expression.
- I have to decorate the final draft of poetry sometimes.
- I am sometimes asked to interpret the poem and even its punctuation!
- I just hate it
- I can’t choose one topic; there are too many of them!
- My poems are sleeping pills for the audience.
- That is why I hate showing it to people, including my friends.
- Somehow it seems too beautiful for me to write.
Two Rooms
People with Siblings
Departure
I live in a doorway
Between two rooms
I see the sun peering over the buildings, bright as usual.
But why do I feel so gloomy?
The bed next to mine is empty
And the house seems roomy
My sister is on her way to another continent, the furthest one from where I am.
I hear my sibling’s exhausted but happy voice.
She says I will fly over the oceans
To spend a week with her this winter
Suddenly I see the fantasy of stepping on the foreign land
And finding my one and only sister, waiting for me in the airport
Self Assessment (Two Rooms)
“Departure”
Some lines are too long. I have to try to shorten some sentences so it sounds more like a line in a poem, not a statement. The audience is not included, and that is the one of the most important factors that needs to be included in the poem. The audience can be people with sibling, or people who have arguments often with their siblings. The adjective words can be changed a bit.
Sound Poem
Children
Lunch Time
Ding~dong~dang~dong~
Goes the lunch bell at a school
You hear the thump, thump, thump of children running to the cafeteria
Rrrrumble…rrrowl…
The stomachs are growling for the search of food
The clink, clank, clunk
Of forks and knives form a band
Squeeak…Squeee sqeeeeee~k
Groaned the chairs as they were dragged away from the table
And the plates join in the chorus with a crash!
As the students shove each other to the door
With another thump, thump, thump
This time accompanied with the yell, “The soccer ball is mine!”
Self Assessment (Sound Poem)
“Lunch Time”
I had to change some words because they were repeating too much. Repeating about two to three times is just enough, so I changed some of the words in each line. Since this poem had no or almost no sentences, I could not do anything with sentence fluency. The words are boring. I did okay in putting in my own experience in some lines, such as “Punch wall” and “Pull my hair.” There are not very many feelings shown in the poem. Otherwise, the poem is okay.
Villanelle
Computer makers
What a Helpful Machine
In front of my desk and chair I sway
I would have done all the work if the computer had not stopped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today.
I wait and frown expecting it to come out of delay.
In frustration I screamed and hopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway
On the bed, angry, I lay.
No actually, on the bed I flopped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today
Almost bawling, I pray.
I know I should have chosen another computer when I shopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway.
For an hour there is no change…“Yay!”
Because of my anger, my brain almost popped.
No one can fix the dumb machine today.
It is like this everyday.
Back on the chair I lopped.
In front of my desk and chair I sway
No one can fix the dumb machine today
Self Assessment (Villanelle)
“What a Helpful Machine”
I have written a villanelle about having a computer frozen. My first draft was a mess because the use of vocabularies was not correct. I had crammed in the vocabularies, thinking that I should find rhyming words first and then think about grammar later, and that made it hard for me to fix. So I had to change many vocabularies at the end to find words I can use (and words that also rhyme). Some sentences look a bit awkward. For example, the third stanza, line 7, “On the bed, angry, I lay,” it does not seem right to me. It sounds as if the bed is angry, not me. I fixed other major mistakes, but it seems like I have to check and see if the sentences make sense or not. If not, I will have to fix it and in the worst case, I have to change every single vocabulary at each end of the lines. I need to look at some of the word choices also.
On-Time (Process Essay)
When you look at your class syllabus, you see a tiny, but the most annoying section about grade categories. In that category, you would see that 5~10% is counted as on-time, which is not much. But please do not ignore that little grade; some nasty teachers give you zeroes when your work is not handed in on the due date.
If you are having a hard time keeping track of your project, just remember these two things: planning and working. How? Firstly, before even picking up your empty sheet of paper, know the due date. If the teacher does not tell you, do not plan ahead because an unknown due date usually means the project is due somewhat ten years later. If you know the due date, then start dividing your work equally. I would not recommend this kind of planning: Day 1, 2, 3, 4: rest Day 5: work. Divide your work equally for each day, and by this way, you can sort out work that needs to be finished.
After you are done with your planning, use your plans. The whole point is to use the plan you have scheduled (or else, you can do nothing with it except using it for scratch paper). Try not to leave off a day’s work for another day because you would have twice as much as work to do for the day you got off. Moreover, working on the same amount of work each day will provide you more sleeping time than those who work like ants at the night before the due date.
Please do not go and play until you have checked your work. Do you have everything required for this work? Do you have enough information? Would the teacher accept it (This question is essential because you do not want to have an argument with the teacher when he/she does not accept your work, especially your Speech or Writing teachers. It usually saves yours and the teacher’s time)? Then, check if you have everything required, such as your citation for the project. Do not forget to take your work with you on the due date, because teachers do not believe in those “I forgot to bring it” statements.
Lastly, gather all the materials that have to be handed in, put them in an order your teacher wants (most writing teachers do this, so do not staple until you have put the papers in order) and give it to your teacher with all the stress you got from the work you have done. As soon as the paper touches the teacher’s hands, you are free (well, temporarily).
After you hand in your work on time, you are done for the day, or if you are lucky, for the week. Handing in projects on time is much simpler than a lot of people think. Before you yell out, “Oh my goodness! I have to stay up all night!” you should plan out your work first and then think if you should scream in misery or not. After handing in your project, enjoy your freedom until the monstrous stack of papers come back to you, which is when you will start anticipating about the grades you obtained.
If you are having a hard time keeping track of your project, just remember these two things: planning and working. How? Firstly, before even picking up your empty sheet of paper, know the due date. If the teacher does not tell you, do not plan ahead because an unknown due date usually means the project is due somewhat ten years later. If you know the due date, then start dividing your work equally. I would not recommend this kind of planning: Day 1, 2, 3, 4: rest Day 5: work. Divide your work equally for each day, and by this way, you can sort out work that needs to be finished.
After you are done with your planning, use your plans. The whole point is to use the plan you have scheduled (or else, you can do nothing with it except using it for scratch paper). Try not to leave off a day’s work for another day because you would have twice as much as work to do for the day you got off. Moreover, working on the same amount of work each day will provide you more sleeping time than those who work like ants at the night before the due date.
Please do not go and play until you have checked your work. Do you have everything required for this work? Do you have enough information? Would the teacher accept it (This question is essential because you do not want to have an argument with the teacher when he/she does not accept your work, especially your Speech or Writing teachers. It usually saves yours and the teacher’s time)? Then, check if you have everything required, such as your citation for the project. Do not forget to take your work with you on the due date, because teachers do not believe in those “I forgot to bring it” statements.
Lastly, gather all the materials that have to be handed in, put them in an order your teacher wants (most writing teachers do this, so do not staple until you have put the papers in order) and give it to your teacher with all the stress you got from the work you have done. As soon as the paper touches the teacher’s hands, you are free (well, temporarily).
After you hand in your work on time, you are done for the day, or if you are lucky, for the week. Handing in projects on time is much simpler than a lot of people think. Before you yell out, “Oh my goodness! I have to stay up all night!” you should plan out your work first and then think if you should scream in misery or not. After handing in your project, enjoy your freedom until the monstrous stack of papers come back to you, which is when you will start anticipating about the grades you obtained.
Loss (Definition Essay)
Loss is a four-letter word that describes one of the most tragic things that can happen to anyone. It can make you commit suicide after a long grief, or it might not affect you at all. A loss can be from losing a wad of paper to losing your best friend. The word “loss” is comprehended differently by different people, which would have various affects on each person. It might just mean losing something, or it might mean something deeper than losing. Dictionary definitions are not always correct. There is no clear way to explain the exact definition of loss; people’s definitions would depend on their experience of loss, types of loss they experienced, what they think loss is or is not, and their thoughts on origin of the loss.
The official or the dictionary meaning of loss is “an amount or number lost.” This is partially true, because in some situations, failure to win, gain, or obtain is counted as a loss. For example, Jae Joon Jung, an arcade game user, thinks losing is loss. He said, “Every time I lose a game, the computer puts down one ‘lost’ for my ID. That is failing to obtain victory, which is loss. Failing to win so many times would depress me, so I think loss never affects my life in a positive way.” Another person had a similar idea to Jae Joon. Yun-Hee Lee, a student in a Korean school said, “If you fail to earn money, it means you have to use the money you have. Then you lose the amount you use for that day.” These replies show that the dictionary definition of loss can be a person’s own definition of the depressing four-letter word.
The word that describes action of loss, “lost,” for example, has a wide area of meanings, because people use the word in very many situations. The definition of loss depends on what the person is trying to say. For instance, if someone says, “We loss (it should be lost, but the person did not notice the error) touch for ten years (Yahoo Answers),” that means that this person had not contacted the person he tried to contact for ten years. If someone says, ‘We lost a good friend today (Sportbikes.com),” that usually means that the friend has passed away (not always though; loss can mean betrayal in this quote also). “Lost Money (Cashunclaimed)” can mean two or more things. Either the person does not know where the money is, ore the person has his/her money taken. Loss can mean a death of a person, a verb used to explain that something did not happen, and a word that describes a situation when something cannot be found.
Personal definition of loss can depend on the person’s opinion on what is the most important to them. Hye-In Park, a fifteen-year old girl said, “The meaning of true loss to me is when a friend dies or turns his/her back on me. To me, friends are one of the essential groups of people in life, and I think it would be a major loss to lose a friend. Loss is when you lose something valuable, isn’t it?” On the other hand, Min-Soo Kang, another game user, said, “Loss, to me, is something like losing my pocket money that is worth using for one month. Think of how you can spend that money! It would be a terrible loss to buy nothing and lose those valuable papers.” These two people understand loss as losing a valuable possession or a person. This idea is one of the majorities people comprehend as loss.
Whether people like it or not, loss can occur anytime in any place. Loss can be occurred by one’s clumsiness or by a failure to remember where one’s property is. If one is clumsy, one would leave an object anywhere without any thoughts. Later, one would look for that object and will not be able to remember where it is. Does this situation only count for loss of an object? The answer is no, because one can lose a friend through clumsiness too. One can be clumsy enough to say words that have a lot of impact to his/her friends, such as a critical insult that involves physical appearance. If that happens, it is most likely for one to lose the friend he/she said it to, and that is a loss. Forgetfulness is another major problem causing factor that makes people lose their possessions. For example, a student put an essay that was worth ten days of work in her folder. Afraid that someone might take it, she put the folder nearby a corner inside of her locker. When the due date arrived, the student panics because her folder is not in her bag, nor at her house. Unfortunately, she had to give up looking for her project and had to get a zero for the grade. When she cleans out her locker, she finds the work almost buried deeply in the locker and finally remembers that she had put the paper in there then. But there is no use; she has already “lost” her grade because of her short term memory. She would have a zero for the loss of the hard work.
Loss can be losing anything, not just an amount or number of losing something. Even the dictionaries cannot define loss in every single way. Because of this wide area of interpretation of loss, it is hard to know what the true definition of loss is. It can mean just losing an object to some people. It might mean more to other people; it depends, but none of them are wrong. The “real” definition of loss, nobody knows and will not know.
The official or the dictionary meaning of loss is “an amount or number lost.” This is partially true, because in some situations, failure to win, gain, or obtain is counted as a loss. For example, Jae Joon Jung, an arcade game user, thinks losing is loss. He said, “Every time I lose a game, the computer puts down one ‘lost’ for my ID. That is failing to obtain victory, which is loss. Failing to win so many times would depress me, so I think loss never affects my life in a positive way.” Another person had a similar idea to Jae Joon. Yun-Hee Lee, a student in a Korean school said, “If you fail to earn money, it means you have to use the money you have. Then you lose the amount you use for that day.” These replies show that the dictionary definition of loss can be a person’s own definition of the depressing four-letter word.
The word that describes action of loss, “lost,” for example, has a wide area of meanings, because people use the word in very many situations. The definition of loss depends on what the person is trying to say. For instance, if someone says, “We loss (it should be lost, but the person did not notice the error) touch for ten years (Yahoo Answers),” that means that this person had not contacted the person he tried to contact for ten years. If someone says, ‘We lost a good friend today (Sportbikes.com),” that usually means that the friend has passed away (not always though; loss can mean betrayal in this quote also). “Lost Money (Cashunclaimed)” can mean two or more things. Either the person does not know where the money is, ore the person has his/her money taken. Loss can mean a death of a person, a verb used to explain that something did not happen, and a word that describes a situation when something cannot be found.
Personal definition of loss can depend on the person’s opinion on what is the most important to them. Hye-In Park, a fifteen-year old girl said, “The meaning of true loss to me is when a friend dies or turns his/her back on me. To me, friends are one of the essential groups of people in life, and I think it would be a major loss to lose a friend. Loss is when you lose something valuable, isn’t it?” On the other hand, Min-Soo Kang, another game user, said, “Loss, to me, is something like losing my pocket money that is worth using for one month. Think of how you can spend that money! It would be a terrible loss to buy nothing and lose those valuable papers.” These two people understand loss as losing a valuable possession or a person. This idea is one of the majorities people comprehend as loss.
Whether people like it or not, loss can occur anytime in any place. Loss can be occurred by one’s clumsiness or by a failure to remember where one’s property is. If one is clumsy, one would leave an object anywhere without any thoughts. Later, one would look for that object and will not be able to remember where it is. Does this situation only count for loss of an object? The answer is no, because one can lose a friend through clumsiness too. One can be clumsy enough to say words that have a lot of impact to his/her friends, such as a critical insult that involves physical appearance. If that happens, it is most likely for one to lose the friend he/she said it to, and that is a loss. Forgetfulness is another major problem causing factor that makes people lose their possessions. For example, a student put an essay that was worth ten days of work in her folder. Afraid that someone might take it, she put the folder nearby a corner inside of her locker. When the due date arrived, the student panics because her folder is not in her bag, nor at her house. Unfortunately, she had to give up looking for her project and had to get a zero for the grade. When she cleans out her locker, she finds the work almost buried deeply in the locker and finally remembers that she had put the paper in there then. But there is no use; she has already “lost” her grade because of her short term memory. She would have a zero for the loss of the hard work.
Loss can be losing anything, not just an amount or number of losing something. Even the dictionaries cannot define loss in every single way. Because of this wide area of interpretation of loss, it is hard to know what the true definition of loss is. It can mean just losing an object to some people. It might mean more to other people; it depends, but none of them are wrong. The “real” definition of loss, nobody knows and will not know.
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